Key Highlights
- A strong partnership between parents and their Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) is one of the biggest predictors of meaningful progress in ABA therapy.
- Asking the right questions helps parents understand their child’s treatment plan, advocate effectively, and reinforce strategies at home.
- Key areas to explore include goals, assessment methods, data tracking, parent training, generalization, and ethical practice.
- Quality BCBAs welcome parent questions and view collaboration as essential, not optional.
- The questions in this guide are designed to help you feel confident, informed, and empowered in your child’s therapy journey.
Why Asking Questions Matters
When your child begins ABA therapy, you are entering a partnership, one where the Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) brings clinical expertise, and you bring something equally important: the deepest understanding of your child as a person. The most successful therapy outcomes happen when those two perspectives meet in genuine, ongoing conversation. And that conversation begins with asking questions.
Many parents feel hesitant to ask questions, especially in the early weeks of therapy. Clinical language can be intimidating, BCBAs are busy, and parents often worry about seeming uninformed or pushy. But here’s the reality: a quality BCBA welcomes your questions. They expect them. They rely on them to understand your child’s full context, your family’s values, and the goals that matter most to you. A BCBA who dismisses parent questions or makes you feel like an outsider in your own child’s care is one to reconsider.
This guide walks you through 10 essential questions every parent should ask their BCBA, why each one matters, and what kind of answers indicate a clinician you can trust. By the end, you’ll feel equipped to enter your next meeting with confidence and clarity.
The 10 Essential Questions
| # | Question | Why It Matters |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | What goals are we working on, and how were they chosen? | Ensures alignment with your priorities. |
| 2 | What assessments did you use to develop the treatment plan? | Confirms decisions are data-based. |
| 3 | How is progress measured, and how often will I see data? | Establishes transparency. |
| 4 | What does a typical session look like for my child? | Demystifies the therapy process. |
| 5 | How will you train me to support my child at home? | Promotes generalization and consistency. |
| 6 | How do you handle challenging behaviors? | Reveals clinical philosophy and ethics. |
| 7 | How will skills generalize beyond therapy? | Ensures lasting, functional change. |
| 8 | How do you collaborate with my child’s other providers? | Supports a unified team approach. |
| 9 | When and how will we adjust the plan if it’s not working? | Confirms responsiveness and flexibility. |
| 10 | What does ethical practice look like in your work? | Reveals integrity and child-centered care. |
Now let’s dive into each question in depth.
1. What Goals Are We Working On, and How Were They Chosen?
This is the foundational question, and it should be asked early and revisited often. Every child’s ABA program should have clearly defined, individualized goals — not generic targets pulled from a template.
Ask your BCBA to walk you through each goal in plain language. A skill acquisition goal might be “Marcus will independently request a break using his AAC device when presented with a non-preferred task, across 8 of 10 opportunities over three consecutive sessions.” A behavior reduction goal might be “Reduce instances of aggression during transitions by 75% from baseline.”
What to listen for: Goals should be specific, measurable, meaningful, and tied to improving your child’s quality of life. They should also reflect your family’s priorities. If your biggest concern is helping your child sleep through the night, and the BCBA hasn’t included anything about sleep routines, that’s worth a conversation.
Red flag: Goals that sound vague (“improve social skills”) or that don’t reflect what you’ve told the BCBA matters to you.
2. What Assessments Did You Use to Develop the Treatment Plan?
Quality ABA therapy is always built on data, not intuition. Common assessment tools include the VB-MAPP (Verbal Behavior Milestones Assessment and Placement Program), the ABLLS-R (Assessment of Basic Language and Learning Skills), the AFLS (Assessment of Functional Living Skills), and the Vineland Adaptive Behavior Scales. For behavior reduction targets, a Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) should be the foundation.
What to listen for: Your BCBA should be able to explain which assessments were used, what they revealed about your child’s strengths and skill gaps, and how those findings directly shaped the treatment plan. They should be able to show you results in a format you can understand.
Red flag: A treatment plan written without formal assessment, or a BCBA who can’t explain why specific goals were chosen.
3. How Is Progress Measured, and How Often Will I See Data?
ABA therapy lives and dies by data. Every session, your child’s progress on specific goals should be tracked using consistent measurement systems — frequency, duration, percentage correct, rate, or other metrics depending on the skill.
Ask your BCBA how often data will be reviewed, when you’ll receive updates, and in what format. Some BCBAs share graphs at monthly parent meetings; others provide weekly summaries. There’s no single right answer, but you should always know what’s working, what isn’t, and why.
What to listen for: A clear schedule for data review, specific metrics being tracked, and a willingness to walk you through graphs and reports in plain language.
Red flag: A BCBA who is vague about data, only reports anecdotally (“he had a great week!”), or seems hesitant to share specifics.
4. What Does a Typical Session Look Like for My Child?
Many parents have only a hazy sense of what actually happens during their child’s ABA sessions, especially when therapy occurs at a clinic or while parents are at work. Ask your BCBA to describe a typical session structure: What activities are used? How are reinforcers selected? How are skill acquisition and behavior reduction balanced? How does the session flow between structured teaching and naturalistic learning?
What to listen for: A thoughtful description that reflects individualization, includes both teaching and play, uses reinforcement that’s meaningful to your child, and incorporates breaks and choice-making. Modern, compassionate ABA looks nothing like the rigid, table-based therapy of decades past.
Red flag: Sessions that sound robotic, demand-heavy, or punitive. ABA today emphasizes assent-based, child-led, and naturalistic strategies whenever possible.
5. How Will You Train Me to Support My Child at Home?
Parent training isn’t an optional add-on—it is one of the most powerful predictors of long-term ABA success. The strategies your child learns in session need to be reinforced and generalized across the environments where they spend most of their time, and that means you need to be coached and supported.
Ask your BCBA: How often will we meet for parent training? What will I learn? How will progress be measured?
What to listen for: A structured parent training plan with regular sessions, specific topics tied to your child’s goals, opportunities for you to practice strategies with feedback, and ongoing support as new challenges arise.
Red flag: A BCBA who treats parent training as an afterthought or who only schedules it when problems arise.
6. How Do You Handle Challenging Behaviors?
This question reveals more about a BCBA’s clinical philosophy than almost any other. Modern, ethical ABA approaches challenging behaviors by first understanding their function: what is the behavior communicating? and then teaching replacement skills while modifying antecedents to prevent the behavior from occurring.
Ask specifically: How do you respond to behaviors like aggression, self-injury, or elopement? Do you use any restrictive procedures? How do you ensure my child’s dignity is preserved?
What to listen for: A function-based approach that prioritizes prevention, replacement skills, and reinforcement. The BCBA should emphasize teaching, not controlling, and should be able to explain de-escalation strategies that respect your child’s autonomy.
Red flag: Heavy reliance on punishment, restraint, or removal-based consequences. Outdated approaches like extended time-outs without function-based context are no longer considered best practice.
A Real Example From Practice
In our sessions, we worked with a parent who initially felt intimidated about asking her BCBA questions. Her son had been in ABA for six months, and while she was told he was “making progress,” she had never seen a graph, didn’t know what specific goals he was working on, and felt completely disconnected from the therapy process.
At her first parent meeting with our team, we encouraged her to bring a list of questions. She came with seven written down, hands trembling. Over the course of an hour, we walked her through her son’s assessment results, every active goal, his current data, what reinforcers worked for him, and how she could carry strategies into bedtime, which had been her biggest struggle for over a year.
By the end of that meeting, she said something we hear often: “I wish I had known I was allowed to ask all of this.” She wasn’t just allowed—she was needed. Within three months of active partnership, her son’s bedtime tantrums had dropped from nightly to once a week, and she had transformed from a passive recipient of services to her son’s most effective advocate.
That is what asking questions can do.
7. How Will Skills Generalize Beyond Therapy?
A skill that only exists in the therapy room isn’t truly mastered. Generalization is the process by which skills transfer across people, settings, and situations, and it must be planned for from the very beginning of therapy.
Ask your BCBA how generalization is built into your child’s program. Are skills practiced with multiple therapists? Across different environments? In real-world community settings? Are you and other family members trained to elicit and reinforce skills outside of therapy?
What to listen for: A clear, intentional generalization plan that includes parent involvement, community-based practice, varied environments, and systematic fading of supports.
Red flag: Therapy that happens exclusively in one room with one therapist, with no plan for how skills will transfer to the rest of your child’s life.
8. How Do You Collaborate With My Child’s Other Providers?
If your child sees a speech-language pathologist, occupational therapist, psychologist, pediatrician, or special education teacher, those providers should be part of an integrated team, not isolated silos. Ask your BCBA how they communicate and collaborate with other professionals on your child’s team.
What to listen for: Willingness to attend IEP meetings, share data with other providers (with your consent), align goals across disciplines, and avoid contradictory approaches. The strongest outcomes happen when everyone is rowing in the same direction.
Red flag: A BCBA who works in isolation or seems unwilling to collaborate with other providers. Coordinated care matters enormously.
9. When and How Will We Adjust the Plan If It’s Not Working?
ABA is data-driven, which means treatment plans should be evaluated and adjusted regularly based on what the data shows. No plan is perfect from the start, and a willingness to revise is a hallmark of quality clinical practice.
Ask your BCBA: How do you decide when to modify a goal or strategy? What’s the threshold for changing course? How will I be involved in those decisions?
What to listen for: Specific criteria for when goals are mastered, when programs need modification, and when entirely new approaches should be tried. Your BCBA should also commit to keeping you informed and involved in those decisions.
Red flag: A BCBA who follows the same plan rigidly even when data shows it isn’t working, or who makes major changes without informing you.
10. What Does Ethical Practice Look Like in Your Work?
This question may feel formal, but it is one of the most important. The BACB Ethics Code for Behavior Analysts governs how BCBAs make decisions, maintain client welfare, handle conflicts of interest, and ensure cultural responsiveness.
Ask your BCBA how they think about ethics in everyday practice. How do they handle situations where insurance limitations conflict with clinical needs? How do they ensure your child’s dignity and assent are honored? How do they incorporate your family’s cultural values?
What to listen for: Thoughtful, specific answers grounded in real situations. A BCBA who has clearly internalized ethical practice will speak about it with depth and humility, not just as a set of rules to follow.
Red flag: A dismissive or vague response. Ethics is the foundation of everything in ABA, and a clinician who can’t speak to it directly is a concern.
How to Approach These Conversations
Asking questions doesn’t have to feel confrontational or formal. Here are some practical tips:
- Write your questions down ahead of time. It’s easy to forget what you wanted to ask in the moment.
- Bring a notebook or take notes on your phone. Capturing the answers helps you refer back later and share with other family members.
- Don’t hesitate to ask for clarification. If a BCBA uses clinical language you don’t understand, ask them to rephrase. A quality clinician will translate freely.
- Frame questions collaboratively. “Help me understand…” or “I want to make sure I’m supporting this at home, can you walk me through…” invites partnership rather than confrontation.
- Schedule dedicated meetings. Quick check-ins at drop-off or pick-up aren’t enough for substantive conversations. Ask for regular, scheduled parent meetings.
- Trust your instincts. If something feels off about the answers, the approach, or the relationship, bring it up. You know your child best.
Building the Partnership Your Child Deserves
ABA therapy is at its most powerful when it is a true partnership between parents, the child, and a skilled, ethical BCBA. The questions in this guide are not about challenging your behavior analyst—they are about building the trust, transparency, and collaboration that lead to meaningful, lasting progress for your child. When you walk into your next meeting with these questions in hand, you walk in as the advocate, partner, and expert on your child that you’ve always been.
At Kennedy ABA, we believe families deserve more than therapy delivered behind closed doors. Our BCBAs welcome questions, prioritize parent training, share data transparently, and treat every family as the essential partner they are. We provide compassionate, evidence-based ABA therapy that helps autistic children build meaningful skills, reduce challenging behaviors, and thrive at home, in school, and in the community. We proudly serve families across North Carolina, Georgia, and Virginia. If you’re ready to work with a team that listens, collaborates, and genuinely partners with you on your child’s growth, contact us today to learn more.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How often should I have meetings with my child’s BCBA?
Most quality programs include monthly parent meetings at a minimum, with additional check-ins as needed. Some families benefit from biweekly meetings, especially in the early stages of therapy or during major transitions. The cadence should be intentional, not catch-as-catch-can.
2. What if my BCBA doesn’t seem open to my questions?
A BCBA who dismisses questions, rushes through meetings, or makes you feel like an outsider in your own child’s care is not the right partner. Quality clinicians welcome parent engagement. If conversations consistently feel one-sided or dismissive, it may be time to advocate for change or seek a second opinion.
3. Is it okay to ask the same question more than once?
Absolutely. ABA involves complex concepts, and understanding builds over time. Asking a question more than once, or asking for it to be explained differently, is a sign of engagement, not weakness. A good BCBA will gladly revisit topics.
4. What if I disagree with a goal or strategy in my child’s plan?
You are an essential member of your child’s team, and your input matters. Bring your concerns directly to the BCBA in a collaborative spirit. Quality clinicians take parent feedback seriously and will revise plans when warranted. If concerns aren’t addressed, it may be time to escalate or seek consultation.
5. How do I know if my child’s ABA therapy is high quality?
The best indicators are individualized goals tied to your child’s life, transparent data sharing, robust parent training, generalization planning, ethical clinical practice, and meaningful progress over time. If all of those are in place and your child is happy in sessions, you’re likely in good hands.
Sources:
- https://autism.org/screening-assessment/
- https://www.motivity.net/blog/aba-curricula
- https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32336692/
- https://www.motivity.net/blog/generalization-in-aba
- https://www.bacb.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Ethics-Code-for-Behavior-Analysts-240830-a.pdf
